"Once, in high school, Olivia and I were invited to a party. The popular kids were getting together up in the hills at one of their huge houses, and they asked us to come. I imagined, even then, being stripped of my clothes, tarred, and then feathered. Olivia convinced me we were finally being accepted and that this was a great opportunity for us. Obliged to my best friend, I drove us up into those hills and right into certain death. As we let ourselves in through the large Craftsman door, we found all of them sitting in Owen Lynch's hot tub drinking beer and barking inappropriate propositions at each other. Was this what high school dating was like? "Yer purty, Mary Benicci," I imagined him saying as the teenaged ogler eyed her newly formed breasts."